THE DISPOSITION OF THE HEART

D_T Sarah
3 min readFeb 29, 2024

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Jesus in Matthew 10:38-39 “If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.

Yesterday at church, my pastor asked us a very important question. His question was “Why are you serving God? --What’s the reason behind your service to God?” and told us to give an honest response.

I searched deeply within my heart. Although, I didn’t give my answer in church. But in this article, I’ll give a sincere answer to that question.

For me, I started serving God because it gave meaning to my life. It gave meaning to my existence. Like I always say, I really battled with insecurity as a child and even in my teenage years. It felt as if nothing outstanding would come out of me. I felt below ordinary.

But the moment I met with God, and started experiencing His love, I felt really loved and significant to Him. Even if it was something that was between myself and God alone, I really cherished that feeling. No one else could see it, but it really made me feel confident and important to some extent. Along the line, God began to reveal things to me, things about myself and others. During this time, I also realized that serving God in church made the picture seem perfect. But I totally forgot the part where I was to love God in return.

I forgot about the part where it wasn’t only about me. I didn’t remember the part where Jesus told us to love God above anything else. But the thing with God is, there’s something called mercy that brings us to the point of brokenness and realization. Which leads to redirection of steps. At this point, I began dying to self, and just laid everything at the feet of Jesus. Only then did I realize that God is all that matter. I stopped looking after myself, about what I could gain or get. And so I began the journey of intentionally loving God, knowing and understanding who He truly His. The more I did this, the more I found myself, knew, and understood the assignment. Although, I’m still on this journey.

Which brings up the question-- What’s your motive for serving God?

At first, we can see that my motive was wrong. I started on the wrong path, but only with God’s mercy was I able to find the right path and continue the journey.

It doesn’t matter how you started. God’s mercy is available and accessible when there’s an acknowledgement of our mistakes.

But if you believe you’re on the right path, you still need to check the disposition of your heart. Ask God to search through, and open your eyes to see your motive. The psalmist says “Search me, O God and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts".

Remember, the Lord searches all hearts, and understands all the imaginations of the thoughts.

GOD BLESS YOU

Reachingouttosouls
Purposefulliving

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